Mixed Bag Of Cookies- Sixty years of tossing and turning!!

My Birthday Falling today on 31 January 2018 truly represents my life Pattern. Unique in all ways, truly a mixed Bag of cookies. Some Salty, Some Sweet, Some Bitter Chocolate, Some caramelized. But I truly cherish all those moments.

Today's Birthday falls on a full moon day and a Blue Moon at that , and followed by a Total Lunar Eclipse, for devout Hindus another auspicious day as it is Thai Poosam dedicated to Lord Muruga. You see the pattern, Auspiciousness blossoming to a full rare Blue Moon eclipsed by its shadowy counterpart only to be released to its fullness again. There goes my Life story. Extreme activity like Cycling 360 Kms to Bangalore at one time and sitting on hard flour for Five hours at a stretch at another. To strike the balance was the issue! This is where the Guru came in to rock the boat only to direct it the Right way.

Been fortunate to have a good family, Select Friends who are Friends till date! Inspite of my Vagaries of extremity at times. A Spiritual Guru who pointed out the right Source of Happiness at an Age when the Shimmering Tinsel world was trying to taunt me into its tentacle , and there He was standing like a Rock beside me.

So my Adolescent Age and Teenage and Middle Age was spent on the hard floors of Ashrams and temple hopping when my friends were Pub Hopping. When my Audit seniors would line up for New Cinema Release I would sneak in to Vivekannada Rock Memorial only to spend Three Nights consecutively secluded on the Rock.

True Finding is, Life has come a full cycle. The vanity of the austerities have fallen off, only to find that irrespective of what You think you are doing, God finds you! You do not contribute anything in Finding Him. It is His Grace alone which matters. I have childhood friends who were Atheists and who ridiculed me in my pursuits turning to hard core Spiritualists now. I know of Friends being Communists in College build Temples or Joined Ashrams.

So Past does not count, Future does not exist, It is the NOW which is ever present. Little wiser now, I take care of my present. Do what I want to do. Do not bother myself about absurd rigidities imposed by the Social Norms or get dictated by Religious doctrines. It is more like a Free format drive. Flow with the current Only dictated by the Conscience, nothing else. Life becomes much easier that way and more awareness of the present sets in.

The rush to accumulate Things is gone, it is more like releasing what I have. Less Luggage More comfort- a slogan I have seen on Railway coaches takes on a new twist and winks at me!
At the same time forced simplicity like Diogenes has lost its charm and I do not find using a Luxury item a Tax anymore. Everything has its time and Place. What is there now is gone the next moment. So attaching undue importance to people, place or things only creates misery.

Children have this habit, always comparing things. They can ask for hours question like If Tiger and Hippo fights who will win? If you answer next question will be ready If Superman and Spider man fights who will win? The list is endless. Now do not laugh!! As adults nothing much has changed. Only to be replaced with Who is Bigger? My God or your God? My Guru or Your Guru? So where is the progress? Zilch. I hope coming years will be productive in evolution and just patiently waiting for the next toss or turn!!

So here I am breaking my own promise of posting on Silence posting my Little mind's prattle.

See you at another time!

Krishnamachari Santhanam

Gratitude-Chinna Katha -26

Gratitude

Once Jesus was walking along the streets of a city. It was a slum area. He saw a young man rolling in dirt, dead drunk. He went to him, sat by his side and woke him up. The young man opened his eyes and saw Jesus. Jesus asked him: "Son! Why are you wasting your precious youth in drinking?" The young man replied: "Master!, I was a leper. You cured me of my leprosy. What else can I do?" Jesus heaved a sigh and walked away.

In another street he saw a man madly pursuing a beautiful woman. Jesus caught hold of him and asked him: "Son! Why do you desecrate your body by indulging in such a sinful act?" The man replied: "Master! I was really blind. You gave me vision. What else can I do?"

Jesus trudged along another street. He saw an old man crying bitterly. Jesus approached him and gently touched him. The old man wiped his tears and looked at Jesus. Jesus questioned him: "Why are you weeping old man?" The old man said: "Master! I was nearly dead. You granted me life. What else can I do except weep in this old age?"
In times of difficulty and distress, we cry out for God's help. But when God, out of His boundless love and compassion, responds to our prayer, we ignore Him and fall back into our self-centered life. One must guard oneself against this greatest sin of ingratitude towards God.

Sai in Chinna Katha

Devotion- Chinna Katha -25

Devotion- After the coronation, one day, Sîtâ and the three brothers of Râma met and planned to exclude Hanumân from the seva of Râma and wanted that all the various services for Râma should be divided only among themselves. They felt that Hanumân had enough chances already. So, they drew up a list, as exhaustive as they could remember, of the services from dawn till dusk, down to the smallest minutiae and assigned each item to one among themselves. They presented the list of items and assignees to the Lord, while Hanumân was present. Râma heard about the new procedure, read the list and gave His approval, with a smile. He told Hanumân that all the tasks had been assigned to others and that he could now take rest. Hanumân prayed that the list might be read and when it was done, he noticed a task of omission - the task of 'snapping fingers when one yawns'. Of course, being an emperor, Râma should not be allowed to do it himself. It has to be done by a servant, he pleaded. Râma agreed to allot that task to Hanumân!

It was a great piece of good luck for Hanumân, for it entailed Hanumân's constant attendance on his Master, for how could anyone predict when the yawn would come? And, he had to be ready with a snap, as soon as the yawn was on! He could not be away for a minute nor could he relax for a moment. You must be happy that the seva of the Lord keeps you always in His presence and ever vigilant to carry out His behest


Sai in Chinna Katha

Chinna Katha 23

God does everything for the best

There was once a Minister to a King who was in the habit of declaring whatever happened was for one's good. One day the King cut his finger while slicing a piece of sugar cane. Seeing the bleeding finger the Minister said as usual "God does everything for the best". The King flew into a rage and said "Here I am suffering with the pain of a bleeding finger and you say God does everything for the best. Enough of your philosophy. Is this the way of consoling me? How can this be for the best when the pain is intense and real? The King immediately committed the Minister to prison. Even then the Minister said calmly "Even this sentence is for my best."

A few days later, the King went alone for hunting in a forest. When the hunting expedition was over the King was resting under a tree. Just then the servants of a certain tribal chief of the forest seized the King, bound his hand and foot. The King questioned them: "Why do you bind me? What are you going to do with me?" The tribesmen replied: "We are going to sacrifice you at the altar of our goddess Kali. It is the custom to offer her a human sacrifice once a year. The time has arrived. We have been looking out for a human being. We are fortunate in having found you." The King remonstrated: "Let me go, I am the King of the realm, you cannot kill me for the sacrifice." The tribesmen laughed and said: "We are glad that this year's sacrifice would be unique and our goddess will be highly pleased because we are going to offer as sacrifice a great personage."

The King was carried and duly placed on a sacrificial altar. Things were ready for the death blow; the priest noticed the bandage on his left hand forefinger. They removed the bandage only to find that a portion of it was cut. The priest said: "This man is not acceptable as a sacrifice to our goddess. A man with a defect in his body is not fit for sacrifice. Set him free."

The King remembered the words of the Minister uttered when his finger was cut "God does everything for the best." He realised that the injury to his finger alone had saved him from death. He at once hurried home and went straight to the prison to set the Minister free. He said, "I seek your forgiveness for the rash and cruel treatment accorded to you." The Minister said: "Your Majesty; you have done no harm. There is nothing to forgive." The King once again questioned: "Why did you say that my sending you to prison is for your good?" The Minister replied: "If I had not been confined in prison, I would have accompanied you when you went for hunting. I would have been in your Company. When the tribesmen came to know that you were unfit for sacrifice, they would have chosen me and offered me as a sacrifice. So God does everything for the best."

SAI in Chinnakatha

Faith-Chinna Katha - 22

Cross the river

There was a pundit who led a disciplined life, sticking to a prearranged time table. He woke up from sleep in the early hours of the morning, recited pranava and later, after ablutions, drank a cup of milk at 7 a.m. exactly.

Sometimes the milk-maid arrived late, for she lived on the other side of a river that flowed between the area in which she lived and the area in which the pundit lived. She had to catch a ferry to cross over the river with the milk. The ferry boat either started a little earlier or a little later. So, sometimes by the time she reached the Pundit's house it used to be very late.

One day the Pundit scolded her and said "You are upsetting my disciplined life. Don't you know that I must have my cup of milk at 7 a.m.? Why do you depend on that boat to take you across? Just repeat the name of Rama. You will be able to walk across the river. Rama will see that you do not get drowned."

The maid being very simple and unsophisticated had faith in the words of the Pundit. Next day, the maid repeated the name of Rama and she just walked across the river. The Pundit questioned her: "How could you come on time?" The milk-maid replied: "Sir, I repeated the name of Rama as you instructed yesterday, and I could just walk across." The Pundit was flabbergasted. He did not believe. He just drank the milk and said: "Let's now go to the bank of the river. Let me see you walk across the river." The maid stepped into the river repeating the name of Rama; she could just walk across. The maid requested the Pundit to follow her. But the Pundit knew that he would not be able to walk across the river, because he did not have faith in what he himself had said - the power of the Name.

Sai in Chinna Katha.

Chinna Katha - 19

God is.......

Once a king wanted to know answers to three questions about which he had been contemplating for a long time. One day the king raised these questions in his Court Hall. The questions were: Where is God? In what direction does He cast His look? What does He do? None could answer these questions. The King then summoned with due honour a sage to his court. He asked the sage to answer these questions.

The Sage replied: "Like butter in the milk God is everywhere". To answer the second question the sage asked for a lamp. He lit the lamp and asked the King: "In which direction does this lamp shed its light?" The lamp sheds its light in all the directions" replied the king. The sage said "Likewise God is Effulgence itself and His vision is not directed to a particular place or person. He is all seeing". The king asked: "What does He do?" The sage said: "Since I am in a way instructing you in spiritual matters, I am in the position of a preceptor, you a disciple. So we have to exchange our places. Are you prepared for this?" The king agreed and came down from his elevated position and sat on the seat in which the sage sat. The sage said with a twinkle in his eyes: "This is what God does. He brings down the mighty and elevates the humble. He can make the poor rich and the rich poor. He can do anything. He is all pervading. He is all seeing and Omnipotent." The king was very much pleased with these answers. He expressed his gratitude to the sage and honoured him in a fitting manner.

Like the king in the story, every one of us should try to understand the true characteristics of God: God is Omnipresent, Omniscient, and Omnipotent.

Sai in Chinna Katha

Chinna Katha- 18

A ray of hope and light

Once Wealth and Poverty approached a merchant and introduced themselves as Goddesses. The merchant offered his salutations to both of them and said: "May I know what brings you to my humble tenement?" The Goddess of Wealth said: "We want you to judge and tell us as to who is more beautiful between us two?"

The merchant was in a fix. He knew he was between the devil and the deep sea. If he were to declare wealth as more beautiful than poverty, poverty would curse him. If he were to declare poverty as more beautiful, than wealth, wealth would forsake him. However, he regained his composure and said: "I have great respect for you both. Would you please act according to my instructions? Then only I can judge properly." The Goddesses agreed. He said: "Mother wealth, would you please go to the entrance (gates) and walk into the house? Mother, poverty! Would you please walk from here towards the gates? I can have a good look at you both, from near and far." The two Goddesses did walk as the merchant wished them to. Then the merchant happily declared: "Mother wealth! You appear very beautiful when you enter the house. Mother poverty! You look very beautiful when you leave the house!" The Goddesses appreciated the wit and wisdom of the merchant. The Goddess of wealth happily stayed in his house while the Goddess of poverty cheerfully walked away.

When a serious problem confronts us, if we look within and think calmly, a ray of hope and light will beam forth and show us the way.

Sai in Chinna Katha

Chinna Katha -17

Never judge another's devotion

There is a widely prevalent habit now of judging others and labeling them as bhaktas (devotees) or nasthikas (atheists). What do you know, what can you know of the inner working of another's mind? There was once a queen who was a great devotee of Râma; she felt so sad that her husband, the Raja, never even uttered the name of Râma and had no bhakti. She had vowed that the first occasion, on which she got evidence of his bhakti or at least respect for Râma Nâma, she would conduct puja in all the temples and feed the poor on a lavish scale. Then, one night, while fast asleep, the Raja uttered the name of Râma thrice plaintively and prayerfully. She heard the namasmarana and was happy at the discovery of her husband's devotion to Râma; she ordered general rejoicing throughout the kingdom and the feeding of the poor. The Raja did not know the reason for the celebration for he was only told that it was an order of the Rani, which the officers carried out. Similarly, a husband may not be aware of the excellence of a wife's spiritual attainments.

There is the case of a couple who was proceeding through thick jungle on pilgrimage to an inaccessible shrine. The husband saw on the footpath a precious stone, shining brilliantly when the sun's rays fell upon it from between the leaves. He hastily threw some sand over it with a movement of his foot so that his wife may not be tempted to pick it up and become a slave to the tinsel. The wife saw the gesture and chided the husband for still retaining in his mind a distinction between sand and diamond. For her, both were the same.

The Raja who spoke in his sleep the sacred name of Râma felt very sorry, according to the story, that he let Râma Nâma out of his mouth, for he believed that no one should know of his 'love' for Râma. There are many who will not shout about their guru or their favorite nama and rûpa but, whether you declare them to others or not, keep them ever in your consciousness. Râma Nâma or any other name must be as constant as breathing. For this, practice is essential.

Sai in Chinna Katha

Chinna Katha -16

Words of the wise

It was a king's court, the ministers, pundits and artists were all seated in their respective places. The king and his ministers had earned quite a name and fame for their wit and wisdom. One day a sage entered the court. He was given a warm welcome with all honor due to him. The king asked him: "Oh revered one! May I know what brings you here? We are very happy on account of your presence here today." The sage replied: "Oh King, your court is reputed for its wit and wisdom. I have brought three beautiful dolls and I would like to have an assessment and evaluation of these dolls done by your ministers." He presented to the king the three dolls. The king called his senior most minister and gave him the dolls for examination and evaluation. The minister just looked once at the dolls and commanded a royal messenger to fetch him a thin steel-wire.

The minister inserted the wire into the right ear of one of the dolls. The wire came out of the left ear. He kept it aside. He took up another doll and once again passed the wire into its right ear. It came out of the mouth of the doll. He kept that doll in one place. He took up the third doll and inserted the wire, it neither came out of the other ear nor from the mouth. The king and the courtiers were eagerly watching the scene. The minister paying his tributes to the sage said: "Oh revered one." Of the three dolls, the third one is the best. The three dolls actually are symbolic of three types of listening. There are three types of listeners, in the world. The first type listen to every word, only to pass it out from the other ear. The second type listen well, remember it well only to speak out all that they have heard. The third type listen, retain everything they have heard and treasure it up in their hearts. They are the best type of listeners." The sage congratulated the king and the minister on the successful evaluation of the dolls and blessing them both, left the court.

'Shravanam' is the first and the foremost among the nine types of devotion. Having heard the words of the wise, we should try to revolve their meaning and message in our minds and put them into practise to elevate our lives.

Sai in Chinna Katha

Chinna Katha - 14

One day, when Ubhaya Bharati was going to the river for a bath with her women disciples, she saw an ascetic, who had renounced everything in life, sleeping on the wayside, resting his head on a hollow water jug, using it as a pillow and at the same time ensuring that nobody took it away. As long as you have attachment and ego, you can never understand the Atma or experience atmic bliss.

In order to convey a lesson to the ascetic, Ubhaya Bharati spoke within his hearing the following words to one of her disciples: "Look at that ascetic, who has ostensibly renounced every kind of attachment, but he has not given up his attachment to his water jug!" On hearing these words, the ascetic got enraged. He thought: "Is a mere woman entitled to teach me as to how I should behave." While Ubhaya Bharati was returning from the river, the ascetic threw the jug at her feet and said: "Now, see what my renunciation is?" Ubhaya Bharati remarked: "Alas! You are not only filled with attachment (abhimana) but you are also filled with ego (ahamkara)." On hearing these words, the ascetic ran up to her, fell at her feet and pleaded for forgiveness of his faults.

Sai in Chinnakatha

Chinna Katha-13

The best gift to ask from God

Our faith diminishes because our ambitions are limitless. There was a rich person who had a daughter with a flat nose. The father wanted to get this girl married. Every person who came and looked at the girl used to go away, although they were tempted by the wealth. In those days, persons who could perform plastic surgery were not available. In desperation, he announced that he would give plenty of money to anyone who would marry his daughter. The marriage was performed, and thereafter the couple developed considerable faith in God. They visited many temples, went on many pilgrimages and bathed in many sacred rivers. They met a saint who advised them that he, who created the nose, alone, could bring it back to normal. Although they had lot of wealth, they were not happy at all. The girl used to feel others were looking at her and making fun. She suggested to her husband that they should both go to the lonely Himalayas and spend a month there in that manner. He agreed and they did go. The girl had a great desire to get back her nose, so she began to pray to God in great earnestness. God appeared, due to her good luck, and asked her what she wanted. As soon as God appeared, she asked for the grant of a good looking big nose. God said, so shall it be and granted her the boon. As soon as God disappeared, she looked at her face. She looked at the big nose and felt that she had become uglier than before. She prayed again more earnestly and God appeared again and asked her what she wanted. She said that she did not want that big nose. God said, so shall it be and granted her the boon. She immediately found that her nose had completely disappeared. The moral of this story is that although God is present before you, playing with you and talking with you, you do not know what to ask.

Sai in Chinnakatha

Chinna Katha -8

Athma Tatwa is One and the same in all.
There was a guru with a large number of disciples and the guru was telling them some good things. One day, when the lesson was going on, the teacher told the disciples that while they are engaged in puja and meditation, no matter what obstacles come their way, they must take care to see that their meditation is not disturbed. The disciples had great faith in the guru. There were also some disciples who were staying in the âs'ram itself. On a birthday of the guru, one disciple decided to offer special prayers to the guru by repeating the 108 names of the Lord. The disciple collected a photograph, 108 flowers and wanted to perform the puja in the traditional manner. One other disciple invited the guru and took him to his house. The guru while going told this other disciple, who wanted to do the worship at the âs'ram itself, to be careful and asked him to keep the front door closed. The day was very hot and the guru neither had slippers for his feet nor did he have sufficient hair on his head to protect him from the sun. When the guru came to the âs'ram and wanted the door to be opened, the disciple inside was engaged in offering puja. The guru knocked at the door and asked the disciple to open the door. The disciple replied that he was engaged in puja and that the guru must wait till the puja was over, as the puja was not to be interrupted. Today ninety-nine out of hundred people are like the disciple. They only worship the photograph of the person whose grace they long for, and continue to do so even when the latter is knocking at the very door of the worshipper.

Sai in Chinna Katha.

Pleasure is an interval between two pains

Let us reveiw the statement- it is a koan for life.



I will tell you my personal experience- Swami called us for an interview, There was the chairman of bahrain- shivaraman by my side. as swami started talking to us shivaraman fainted and fell. There were three doctors in our group. they felt no pulse and panicked. I was just close to him and thought he was dead. Swami smiled and said not to worry, low pressure and he went himself and brought some water and sprinkled on him, and gave command for him to rise with his finger 3 times. what i saw was amazing. with each finger command, his rigid body got up by stages and then he opened his eyes. To sidetrack, before this, swami had been intently looking at the ring I was wearing for 5 minutes as he was talking , to such an intensity that I was feeling queasy about it. Now when Brother Shivaraman opened his eyes Swami smiled sweetly at him and waved his hands and created a beautiful diamond ring with 3 diamonds in a boat shape an exact replica of mine - a little larger perhaps. all of us were so happy and swami said, " Pleasure is an interval between two pains".



Now I have a habit, whatever swami says I always think about it- do not accept it as it is and leave it. As experience has taught me that when He says something, it is a mahavakya- hidden truths are in it. So I was expecting another pain in the offering. Later i went to Shivaraman and asked him if he heard what Swami said, to which he replied that he could not hear anything through the interview. I told him verbatim what Swami had told as he created the ring, without any elobaration. Shivaraman a long time devotee of Bhagvan understood the message immediately and said Swami give will give him the courage to see it through.



All of us returned to the gulf after the visit. When Shivaraman returned to Bahrain, and was alone in his house some robbers entered and tied him up and looted everything they could lay their hands on. Two things they could not see as Swami possibly hid their eyes- the diamond ring and a gold chain adorning Swami's life size photograph!!



Then I understood what Swami meant about pleasure being an interval.



Now as a spiritual equation pain opens door to spitual awareness much more than pleasure, as we find more fair weather friends around us and a few suporting ones at times of need. So my personal experience is that though pleasure is what motivates you to live, pain is what creates lessons which we carry through births.

Krishnamachari Santhanam

NOW

Now is still there.

Toys

How many Toys we will keep desiring, knowing that all our past toys evoke no interest in us now?

Krishnamachari Santhanam

Kites

When I was a young boy we used to fly Kites and chase kites which are cut loose , I never realised that as the first breeding ground for desires. Most of the time we never caught the kite we were chasing but many were the kites which glided and landed on the terrace or in our hands by themselves when we were not expecting it. Nothing much has changed !!

Krishnamachari Santhanam

Awareness.

Life may reveal itself to you at the foot of a living mountain, by the side of a holy river, at the piercing of the first ray of sunrise. It may choose to whisper its secret at the strangest of places and at the oddest of hours. It could happen on the potty at your most relieved moment or in the shrine of the most fabled temple sanctum.



It all depends on how aware you are at the moment. The opulent universe does not like mysteries. It reveals its core all the time in the cosmic movement of the universe and the constant hum of its hub. It is us who choose not to listen in our eternal quest of the quandary.



He speaks to us all the time in silent whispers and caresses our heart with his gentle fingers but we are so much lost in the glitter and gold we fail to feel.



He sends us his chosen so we may emulate, but we choose to emulate the tinsel town and its heroes. The Hero is one who has renounced everything, but even as kings we choose to be beggars.



The mother of the universe is eternally kind and packs milk in the bosom as we are born, the seeds are sprouting as we eat the first morsel, the fruits are ripe as we care to pluck, we in our greed pick more than what is needed and waste in our audacity of the pompous,"I".



If only we choose to listen more to the energy coursing through our veins, it will be verily the Ganges and its streams. If only we raise the energy to its summit it will be verily the Mount Kailash. If only we energize the chakras it would be microcosm of the movement of the universe. If only we manage to cognize the chith the humble idol in the temple does speak.



As we recognize the unity in diversity the disparity in a stone and a sugar candy does disappear. If only the awareness with which we gain atma vidya or the knowledge of the soul is managed to be retained constantly, nothing needs to be learnt, nothing to be practiced, nothing to be done and just BE.



Krishnamachari Santhanam.

Donkey

A donkey carrying a load of holy books is a donkey nevertheless. We are all donkeys so long as we carry these holy books in our mind.

Ashram Bats

On my visit to the Ashram this year,and while waiting in the Darshan line I saw new visitors whom I had not seen in years-fruit bats. They were hanging upside down and all over the trees. The last I had seen these fruit bats was in Luna garden in Sydney. So many of them... and as usual they taught me a lesson or two.

They came swooping and with one leg clung to the tree. Till they find a comfortable branch they moved with the small,"V" formation in their wings as hands and moved around. Once they found the comfortable branch they spread their wings and took all the cool air they needed to regulate their blood temperature. Once done, they wrapped first one wing, then another around them and immediately was lost to all the happenings around them and was lost in meditation. What a marvel? They are veritable sages lost in meditation. Probably they are. The divinity in these creations amazed me. Wish I could as easily settle into meditation and be immersed in it.

Lesson one- Fly high and get the highest branch-in terms of spiritual mentor.
Lesson two- Move around only till you get the bare necessary comfort.
Lesson three- Stay rooted.
Lesson four- Spread your wings, only to unspread later.
Lesson five- Once the Drishti is closed Srishti vanishes. ( Once Physical eyes close manifestation ceases).

Only consciousness remains.

Krishnamachari Santhanam.

Mind

Mind is an obstacle in realising the self. Rituals and other kriyas can be a serious deterrent to realise the self at the later stages of sadhana. God/Self/Nirvana/Realisation whatever you may like to label it can not be known with intellect neither with the mind. It has to be truly experienced and felt and all this talking and writing will only lead to confusion as words are but thought forms and there are so many dimensions to the one reality.

Krishnamachari Santhanam.